Wednesday, December 18, 2013

We interrupt this broadcast to bring you an important commercial message...

So I wrote my last whiny, self-indulgent, first-world-problem post (Ack! It will ruin my shoes if I try to walk through the snow to buy some vegetables!) and then I went to bed, dreaming of broccoli. Yes, broccoli. Go ahead and nominate me for the Most Boring Person of the Year Award.

When I woke up, there was a text on my phone from my pal GF. And I swear to you, this is not a paid advertisement, but her text read " More citrus. Less scurvy." Which, when you think about it, is an awesome tag line for a vegetable delivery company. Which khodarji is. So I guess they should pay GF, not me.

I was desperate. I mean, c'mon, how desperate do you have to be to dream about broccoli? So I went online, registered, and started adding random things into my cart, sure that none of them were actually going to appear. Chard? Two bunches, please. Cauliflower, large. Clementines. Local grapefruit. Baby spinach. And so on.

Then I went to work.

When I got home, the nanny was waiting in the kitchen. "They delivered the vegetables," she sniffed, "but the spinach looks disgusting." I looked in the sink, and there was the most beautiful bunch of Swiss chard I'd ever seen - not spinach at all. I may have swooned a little.

I'm kind of - what's the word? - a health food freak. Don't get me wrong - I love a good onion ring as much as the next gal, and I'm eating chocolate covered caramels as I type this. But I lovelovelove pretty much any sort of vegetable, and I'm a sucker for whole wheat flaxseed chia oat bran whatever. My ideal dinner would probably be stirfried cabbage with tofu. (Unless you're buying. Then it's sushi.)

So the sight of this amazingly fresh chard right there in my kitchen after days of nothing but frozen veggies made my heart flutter. My kids had already eaten every last bit of the chicken noodle soup before I arrived home, so my dinner was Swiss chard topped with some frozen shrimp.

The kids had clementines and strawberries for dessert.

And all is once again right with my world.

Except for one small problem.

I'm out of caramels.


Please. Write your own stuff.