In an effort to get my last whiny, self-indulgent post off of the home page of this blog, I'm going to write a new whiny, self-indulgent post.
Seriously, though, have I mentioned before that there are people here at post who read my blog? And so I see them strolling the hallways in real life, and it can make for awkward moments. (But thanks, Stephanie - I needed that hug.)
And then, over dinner last night, Major Winerack told me she was reading back in my archives, all the way back to my early days in China. (geez, I make myself sound like Laura Freaking Ingalls when I say it that way...)
It is funny, though. Because I know that people read it, I temper my thoughts somewhat and limit my observations. But I also sprinkle my posts with all sorts of inside jokes and references that are directed toward specific favorite people, and that no one else would ever pick up on. Truth be told, I don't know if those specific favorite people are even picking up on it when I'm speaking directly to them, but whatever - it's a fun writing exercise, and it allows me to be more open about things than it might appear.
So. Back to self-indulgent and whiny, as promised.
Here it is November, and lots of Foreign Service folks already know where they're going next. They've gotten handshakes - that's what it's called when you're promised a post but it isn't official yet. And they're researching and reading and chattering in the hallways at work.
Not so for DS spouses. Everyone except Jennifer is still waiting. And poor Jennifer - she knows where she's going, but she can't even gloat about it or the rest of us will reach across the interwebs and strangle her.
DS is, shall we say, a bit slow when it comes to assignments, in comparison with the rest of the Foreign Service. I'm not complaining, in the sense that I'm sure it's a tough process, assigning all of these agents across the globe, and from what I've seen, the assignments people take their task very seriously. But - and you knew there'd be a but here - it is beyond frustrating to wake up every day and wonder what's going to become of your family. There is a total loss of control over your own life - a sense that some great storm is spinning, moving, building, and you're just floating on the fringes, powerless, waiting for the storm to pick you up and carry you elsewhere.
On the one hand, it's fun to look at the globe - I ADORE globes! - and imagine all of the possibilities. On the other, well, all of those possibilities are slim-to-none, and what is so wrong with the particular point on the globe where you happen to be standing Right This Minute?
So my DS friends - Kolbi and Jen and Jill and JennD and the list goes on and on - spend hours on Facebook asking what have you heard? and of course, no one's heard anything, except Jennifer.
This week's panel has come and gone with no news. None of our bids have even made it to panel yet. They did go ahead and put us out of our misery, telling us one of our top choices ain't gonna happen. And then they threw some new posts out there for our consideration. This weekend, then, I will be trolling the Internet, looking on talesmag and facebooking my FS blog buddies, searching for information on all of these places. Thinking and waiting and stressing. Until the next panel meets - in faraway December.
I'm telling you. Bidding sucks.