Sunday, September 5, 2010

Our First Jordanian Souvenir(s)

It was a busy weekend, so I'm playing catch-up today. When I went into the laundry room to start a load of whites, Ainsley followed me in, climbed on the laundry pile and exclaimed "Mountain!"

So clearly there is a lot of catching up to do in the laundry department. Which may explain why I'm blogging right now.

Let's see, what can I tell you about my weekend? Well, a couple of neighbor kids came over to play while their dad took Bart "souvenir" shopping. I made them lunch: grilled cheese, tuna salad on crackers, apple slices and edamame. After they finished, I sat down with a book to enjoy my own lunch. Ainsley and Kyra sat with me and continued nibbling on edamame.

Ainsley wouldn't stop talking, but I was doing my best to ignore her and read. Until I became aware of what she was saying: "Ouchie, mommy. Edamame. Ouchie."


Well, it turns out the darling girl had stuffed a soy bean up her nose, and it was firmly wedged up there. It took quite awhile to get it out, using my oughta-be-patented method involving both tweezers and a toothpick.

So much for my break.

I decided to clean up the lunch dishes, and was elbow deep in soapy water when I heard someone crying. Screaming, actually. I listened, but the shrieks seemed to be far away - not my kids. That poor mom, I thought, I wonder what happened to her kid.

I kept on scrubbing, and the kid kept on screaming. Why isn't his mother calming him down, I wondered. I listened again. Nope, definitely not my kid. But then, that little tiny bit of grey matter still lodged up in my skull had a sudden thought: There are two kids in my house whose screams I do not yet recognize. Might it be....?

I dashed to the back of the house and discovered that the screams were emanating from behind a closed bathroom door. I carefully opened the door to find the 6-year-old neighbor boy standing on the bidet (who uses those things, anyway?), screaming and shaking.

Turns out there was a gigantic roach in there with him.

I managed to get the kid out of there, and I shut the door again. My first thought was to leave the bug there until my husband returned. After all, he has a badge and a gun, and I figured both might be required to get rid of that roach. But I wasn't expecting my husband home for a few hours. What if Ainsley opened the door and the roach escaped, killing us all? What if noone opened the door until Bart came home, and the roach had inexplicably disappeared? I would never be able to sleep in the house again.

It was clear I was going to have to deal with this monster roach myself. Sigh. Seriously, what's the point of being married if the guy isn't even around when the entire family needs saving from a hippopotamus-sized roach?

I devised a plan to scoop up the bug in an empty grocery bag. And lo - it worked! It was gross. It was scary. But the giant bug is now on his way to a museum somewhere in Europe - I hope.

A weekend full of roaches and edamame up the nose. What could be better?

I guess this is the point where I should go ahead and clear up the mystery of this post's title. So, without further ado, I present our first Jordanian souvenirs:

They're called saluki, and they are one of the oldest breeds of dogs around. I believed they originated in Egpyt, and they were bred to withstand life in the desert.

That's not the important thing for you to remember, however. No, what you need to remember is that I was firmly in the "don't get a dog" category. Bart, however, was in the "let's get two!" category. And somehow he won.

No matter, though. I'll get my revenge. For starters, I'm going to name this one Snuffy:


Emily said... [Reply]

Sounds like quite the weekend. I am very impressed with capturing the huge cockroach. I had to call Ben home from work once to get one. The thing was huge, and in my defense, it looked like a scorpion.

Z. Marie said... [Reply]

I've heard of that breed, although I don't think I knew what they looked like. Are the two siblings? Will they live in the house?
Lots of questions from a woman who has resisted getting a dog and will continue to do so ...

Brooke said... [Reply]

Good work on the bug extraction!

Shannon said... [Reply]

So far every nasty monster roach I have found in Malawi have been found while Dave is at work. Do the guys have some sort of secret pact with the roaches?

I am sorry you are not a dog kind of person. hopefully those two will grow on you. They are lovely.

Bfiles said... [Reply]

hilarious post. Reminds of me of the time my baby brother got a bead stuck up his nose. Ah, memories.
The dogs are so interesting-loking! I've never seen a dog quite like that. Sorry you're not so happy about it, but I do like #1s name. :)

Connie said... [Reply]

Teach the dogs to hunt the hippo-roaches. Make 'em earn that kibble! :)

Bill and Linda said... [Reply]

Maybe the dogs could be trained to eat the cockroach!

Loved the stories, keep them coming!

Kami said... [Reply]

Regarding the edamame up the nose: that trick SHOULD be patented. Man, is that impressive. Regarding the roach: next time, text me. I'll let you borrow my 2 year old. He's a bug-smashing machine. Seriously. He's unstoppable. And, regarding the dogs...really? Dogs? As in 2 dogs? 2 dogs in Jordan? Well, they are good-looking at least. And that's all that matters. (That's what I tell my kids, anyway.)

Carrie said... [Reply]

This is a random comment from a "de-lurking" blog follower. I started reading your blog while you still lived in Beijing, where I currently live. We might be moving on soon, and we have a dog. I remember in one of your old posts - from around the time that you were leaving China - you recounted the saga of trying to get your beloved pup out of the country. Ahhhhh, China! Nothing is simple. Anyway, in one of the posts, I think you mentioned a guy in Shunyi who could be hired to go through the steps for you. I was wondering if you happen to know anyone still in Beijing who could put me in touch with this person? Your story did not make me want to follow in your footsteps. :) Unfortunately, I live wayyyy outside of the normal expat areas of Beijing, so I have no idea how to track a guy like this down. My email is carriemckean @ Would love to hear from you, if you have time! (I'm also very interested in a ballpark figure of what it costs to get all the necessary checks/stamps/approvals and airfare for a 'lil doggy - China to USA.) Ours is a mutt that we picked up on the streets of our village - so we haven't gone through this before.

I wish you the best as you get settled in Jordan. I still enjoy reading your blog! You are a gifted writer! :)

Vicki said... [Reply]
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vicki said... [Reply]

Maybe you can breed them? Wow!

TulipGirl said... [Reply]

Oh, no. Oh no no no! I oh-so-don't want a dog. Or two. I've almost relented though. . . Hubby's getting me with the, "But we'll have a watchdog to bark loudly in Nairobi!"

(But, congrats on your "souvenirs!")

Please. Write your own stuff.