Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Because I Know You Love Guessing Games

Here's a multiple choice quiz for you.

On Donna's first full day with a car, she:

A) got a massage;

B) drove all the way out to the Dead Sea, just to say she'd been;

C) went to a great restaurant, all by herself, for lunch;

D) took Ainsley to the emergency room.

Yep, you're right. I found my way, all by my lonesome, to the Arab Medical Center ER, where I spent the morning waiting, and waiting, and waiting some more, for an ENT to appear in order to pull something unidentifiable out of my darling daughter's nose.

She's been stinking a bit - we've taken to calling her "dog breath" - and I've been scrubbing away at her teeth, checking for cavities, to no avail. So I googled "stinky toddler breath," and came up with "foreign body in nose."

So it was that I found myself in the hospital. Let's recap, shall we? We've been in hospitals in the U.S. (California. Pennsylvania. Seattle. New York. Virginia. D.C.). In Moscow. In Finland. In London. In Armenia. In Kazakhstan. In Beijing. In Hong Kong. And now in Amman, Jordan. I'm going to go ahead and send away for my honorary medical degree today, I think. (Funny aside: When Aidan was in Children's Hospital, I spent days listening to doctors make the rounds and give his history to one another. So one day, when a new doc came in, I just started in with the history. I guess I threw out so many medical terms that he got confused. "Who are you?" he asked me, the mother. He thought I was a new doctor. I'm that good.)

So yes. "Foreign body in nose" was today's diagnosis. It's unclear what, exactly, this particular foreign body was, because it was pretty far gone. Disgusting, revolting - you choose the adjective. It's out now. And we're home.


FSO Hopeful said... [Reply]

Even as small as Amman is compared to most Middle East capitals you are a brave soul to drive there! I think you have to be born with your hand on the horn to survive.

Z. Marie said... [Reply]

I will use my imagination but not share what I imagine the foreign object to be. Although it does make me wonder about Owen's periodic bad breath ...

A Daring Adventure said... [Reply]

ROTFL! Doctor! Yes, actually. You would make a splendid doctor!

Loved the list of worldwide medical facilities you've visited! Mercy!

You need to write a book. Didn't I read somewhere that you've started writing a book? Because you need to have started writing a book. That's just all there is to that.

Bfiles said... [Reply]

wow. I have NEVER heard of "foreign body in nose" being linked w bad breath. You ARE good. So sorry you had to go to the ER, but glad it wasn't under too scary circumstances.

Shannon said... [Reply]

I read this to David and he can't stop going on about how nasty that was. You completely grossed out my husband. I can't stop laughing. Glad all is ok.

Connie said... [Reply]

But did you make it to the gas station, or am I going to have to figure out where to get a gas can?

Glad she's ok! And kudos for you, you earned two new post badges in one day - "First drive" and "ER Adventure"

Donna said... [Reply]

@FSO Hopeful - After driving in Beijing, I think I can handle driving almost anywhere! (It's the parking I hate.)

@ Daring - "starting" a book is not the same as "finishing" a book, alas.

@ Shannon - did you not just post pictures of bugs, immediately prior to eating said bugs? I cannot possibly have grossed out any living member of your family.

@ Connie - love, love, love! the idea of post badges. I also earned a "first gas station fill-up" badge today. No gas can needed. Now, should these badges be the kind we sew on our clothes, or the kind we post on our blogs? It'd be pretty cool to have blog badges that we could all use.

LeesOnTheGo said... [Reply]

Hysterical! (AND...am glad that you had the foreign object removed! How uncomfortable for her that must have been!)

I'm a fan of the badges! No idea how to go about that. But a fan nonetheless. Give a badge to Connie for "best new idea".


Elaine said... [Reply]

I'm sorry... this was so hilarious (AND disgusting at the same time) that you've got us all rolling in the aisles. Face it, with that many children you are absodamnlutely guaranteed multiple ER trips each year. My children specialized in Christmas Eve and Christmas Day emergencies (none of them actually involving any of their gifts or the candle on the table, just ....got lucky, I guess.) Early in our daughter's long saga, I used to be asked, "Are you a nurse?" Over the years, people got much more PC; they began asking, "Are you a health professional?"

Good luck til the next time!

Jen Ambrose said... [Reply]

This post is also a public service!

Just US said... [Reply]

If this is what happens when the vehicle arrives in the Middle East, they can keep mine :)

Glad to hear the foreign substance has been removed and hopefully her breath will smell better now :)

Jill said... [Reply]

Hysterical! And the disgusting mother in me actually just wants to know if her breath started smelling sweet again. :)

So if you ever make it into Israel, let me know first. I'll tell you all the hospitals there so you can program them in your speed dial!

Jill said... [Reply]

P.S. Congrats on finally getting your car. :)

Kami said... [Reply]
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kami said... [Reply]

(there was a spelling error on the earlier version.)

I will never understand what possesses kids to stick things up their noses. My sister stuck a bead up her nose when we were little. That sucked. And made me uber-hyper-conscious of smaller-than-nostril-sized pieces of crap laying around. Of which there are many.

Please. Write your own stuff.