There I was, minding my own business, trying to pack and trying not to throw any kids out the window, when I decided to check email instead. And that's how I found out that ADA had published such nice - but totally untrue - things in the comment section of my recent post.
Before you evaluate what she wrote, you should know: the lady is crazy. Or, to put it in a way that she herself can understand:
Making. That. Stuff. Up.
We know she's prone to strangitude. This is, after all, the woman who wore strappy sandals for a hike at Great Falls. This is the same woman who allowed her husband to join the Cyberbones Toe-Shoe Club, thereby adding minutes to his morning routine - minutes he could be spending saving the planet. I mean, what's next? It's only a matter of time before some blogger spots her on the Mall in DC, after Labor Day, dressed in white (probably taking a picture of a miniature spotted South African tree fly perched atop the Capitol Dome, but that's a whole 'nother story).
Here's what she said that's so crazy: She said my children were angels. My children. Let's all pause to let that sink in, shall we?
(Larry? Pam? Kyle? Do you need me to dial 911 for you? Because I'm pretty sure, after that dinner I forced you to suffer through recently with my "angels," you are reading this description and have collapsed into a heap on the floor, laughing so hard you're gasping for air.)
Although I do have to recount one angelic moment.
As the Fitscraps were leaving, the kids ran ahead to the elevator lobby. I heard screams, so I peeked around the corner to find my three eldest children dragging the baby by her feet out of an elevator. Apparently, she tried to run into an open elevator and the other kids knew this to be unsafe. So, being the angels that they are, they tackled her and dragged her, kicking and screaming, back out of the elevator.
Their motivation was angelic, I suppose, if not their actual actions.
So there's that.
Now you know. ADA makes stuff up.
(Except for the stuff she wrote about me. That's all true. I really am that awesome.)
And now, if you'll excuse me, I have a plane to catch with my four little angels.
Go ahead and debate in the comments section, please. I'll be back soon, from Jordan, where rumor has it there is a Starbucks not far from my new house....